Middle-aged love song

Sometimes I look at the calendar and see my 41st birthday knocking on the door, and realize that even if I live to be 82, that means I’m firmly in my middle age right now.  That isn’t necessarily a bad thing; any age is what you make of it and I’m enjoying my 40s thus far.  One thing I did realize is that there are no realistic love songs out there for guys like me, that reflect where we are in the sexual arena.  When I was younger and more idealistic and gave more of a fuck, I wrote some pretty decent song lyrics for the imaginary band for which I’d someday be the svengali.  I figure it’s time to bust the rust off of that skill and write something that guys like me can relate to.

Note: I’ve tried to edit this thing three times and it keeps removing my paragraphs for some reason, so I’m inserting lines to break up the verses and chorus.  I care about it that much.

Middle-Aged Love Song

I wanna love you baby, but not all night

Because I have to get up for work in the morning at five

I wanna do what it takes to get you off

But not a bit more, because then you’ll expect it next time

_____________________________________________

I want you to be forever by my side

I’m just too lazy to try to find someone new

I want you to be here for the rest of my life

Because I don’t wanna give half of my stuff to you

_____________________________________________

If you put up with my shit I’ll put up with yours

And every once in a while I’ll go that extra mile, because…

_____________________________________________

I’m getting old, yes I’m getting old

I know a lot more but I don’t want to do it

Sometimes I will but most times I say “Screw it!”

I’m getting old, yes I’m getting old

I want a lot more but I’m tired of trying

When I say that I love you I’m almost not lying…

_____________________________________________

I promise you I won’t fantasize about your friends

Well, at least not if I know I’ll get caught

And I promise I won’t leave you for somebody else

Unless she’s really young and hot

_____________________________________________

I want to do those things with you that you want to do

Except the ones that are boring, which is most of them

And most of all, I hope you’ll never realize

That I could be replaced by a much younger and better man

_____________________________________________

If you settle for me I’ll gladly settle for you

And together we’ll see this thing through (until one of us says “fuck this shit”), because…

_____________________________________________

I’m getting old, yes I’m getting old

I know a lot more but I don’t want to do it

Sometimes I will but most times I say “Screw it!”

I’m getting old, yes I’m getting old

I want a lot more but I’m tired of trying

When I say that I love you I’m almost not lying…

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