1. I’m almost always asleep at midnight.
2. I don’t have a girlfriend with a mental condition that rhymes with her name, or “baby.”
3. I never travel by train, and if I did my destination would not be “anywhere” or “nowhere.”
4. I’m white.
5. I ain’t got a woman that done me wrong.
6. I rarely drink alcohol.
7. I’m not religious, and Satan isn’t after me, nor are any of his hound-like minions.
8. The blues don’t got ahold of me.
9. The only instruments I play are the tambourine and triangle.