Reasons why I can’t be a blues musician

1.  I’m almost always asleep at midnight.

2.  I don’t have a girlfriend with a mental condition that rhymes with her name, or “baby.”

3.  I never travel by train, and if I did my destination would not be “anywhere” or “nowhere.”

4.  I’m white.

5.  I ain’t got a woman that done me wrong.

6.  I rarely drink alcohol.

7.  I’m not religious, and Satan isn’t after me, nor are any of his hound-like minions.

8.  The blues don’t got ahold of me.

9.  The only instruments I play are the tambourine and triangle.

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