This post is in honor of the first annual celebration of Octoberrest, the holiday that should replace Columbus Day in the US. Every year at this time we’re bombarded with information about how terrible Chris Columbus was (moderately terrible, even considering the times) and how awful it is that we take a day off work to celebrate his terrible-ness. We’re also bombarded with the anti-pc crowd who have yet to find somebody they won’t back as long as they think they’re sticking it to whiny libs, telling us to leave Columbus Day alone.
My interest in this is purely selfish and lazy. I like having a day off work in October and truth be told, I’m not picky about the reason for having it off. True, if it was Hitler Day I’d make a token effort to get the holiday stopped or changed but I’d still enjoy the three-day weekend because I’m a lazy government worker. I love long weekends, perhaps even more than I love liberty, justice, and doing the right thing. I have my price, and it’s an extra day off.
I think the whiny libs have a point here, though. Look at the real history of Columbus and you’ll see he isn’t worthy of a holiday. I get that he lived in a different time, but that still doesn’t mean he should be celebrated. Most of our holidays are for more recent historical events; we don’t need to justify the past.
However, I also sympathize with the people that want to keep this a holiday. Not because of Columbus, but because of the day off. That’s why I propose making the second Monday of October the Octoberrest. A day of rest in October and you can celebrate it however you choose. Just like in school how if you have a prayer time, you can pray to Jesus, God, Krampus, Ron Jeremey, or Whomever you want. Octoberrest is non-discriminatory. Celebrate it however you want within the boundaries of law, but completely free of the boundaries of decency if you so desire. It’s your day of rest, do what you want to do with it.
Are you with me? If so, then happy Octoberrest!